Spark

Minnesota Features

June 8, 2017

Lake Time Magazine

Looking for love in northern Minnesota? Sound like an impossible task? Let us introduce you to Linda! Follow the saga... her brand spankin' new column; it has all of the elements - suspense, drama, humor, horror, and maybe... just maybe, love.

Quick intro. I'm Linda, but most refer to me as Elle because who really names their child Linda in the late 70s? I mean, come on. My parents must've hated me from the beginning. I'm a 30-something divorced mom of three, living and loving in northern Minnesota. I'm independent, confident, and tired. I work a demanding job, have children who are in every activity imaginable, and have a rock star circle of friends who make my life complete. Well, almost complete. What's missing is that "special someone." You know, someone who can share your highs and lows. Someone who you can tag on Facebook when a trainwreck is going down on the buy and sell page. Someone who really gets what makes you tick - whether that's practicing yoga, quality time with family, or shamelessly watching Scandal on Hulu. But there is a problem. I'm in small town northern Minnesota. The dating pool is small, Arctic Cat jackets are mandatory, and a college degree is almost impossible to find amongst single guys in this area. Bad news for me, but good news for you, the reader. Why, you might ask? Because I'm going to share it all with you - the good dates and bad, the highs and lows, the trials and tribulations that come with Linda's quest to find her white knight in a pool of camo and blaze orange.

Really, I'm ready. I've done the work. Divorce is final, kids are happy, healthy, and fairly well-adjusted, job is great, I own a home, and I've read all the self-help books and drank all the wine. So it's time to dip my toes into the dating pool. YAY! But geez, I have no idea how to begin. Unfortunately, my work crush is happily married, my hunky next door neighbor is 25 and the creepy guy at the gym who keeps glancing at my bare ring finger is, well, creepy. How do I spread the word? Twitter (#lookingforlove)? Rent a billboard (Wanted: Single man with a job and all of his teeth)? Or (I can't believe I'm even going to mention it) online dating? I mean, who even does online dating in northern Minnesota? Is it even a thing?  Match, Tinder, Bumble, Zoosk... how do you choose? I'm sweating just thinking about it. But here I go. Dipping the toes. Or at least a toe. Gah, I might need a push off the dock. One thing I will promise you though - next time you hear from me I will have real stories of real dates, the good, the bad and the ugly. Time to shave my legs, wax my lip, and contemplate Botox. Game on.